Messy Messy

Yep..a messy girl i am....

Every girl would like to look preety....with make up on...with hair style, choosing a suitable outfit....thinking of choosing handbag to match with and even for shoes to wear....and being the admiral of mensss....

urghhh...growing up with 3 boys...sadly to say...does not make me one of it...even thou berangan how nice i can become like them...but i dont think the investment bring me any benefits..., even thou, am able to be that kind of "women"...yet i have the natural of being a messy girl and not wanting to look preety for just to attract others....maybe its my behaviou..i do not like to shine off my beauty...where my weakness always covers my positive....

even being single, i received lotsa comment regarding my apprearance...my outfit..the shoes i wear...my hair..and even wearing my make up..cause we are adults...and other reason is "to attract the opposite sex"...aiyak...do i have to be that way just to dress up......why cant they put it...wear something to reflect ur self...tudung tak match la...baju nampak gemuk la...kasut tak lawa la...etc..urghhh..bosan bosan....


urghh..sometimes...i just wanted to tell them, i was grown up where my mum doesn't wear makeup or even a lipstick...hehe.....hehe..even my mum pung beli baju kurung for me..being the daugther to manja for...hahahaha...

yet..kenaper kene pakai makeup just to attract men?? kalu aku pakai makeup..for my husband...fine...i'll do it..but just to attract guys etc...hah.....i wear lipstick, for meeting...ok..fine...the rest tak masuk kamus okie....

oh yes..to summarize..i prefear not to wear make up...i prefear to wear comfort cloths and shoes...i do not believe to invest colours for my face..part nak cuci la time ambil air sembayang is so troublesome la ...(i dont think i look preety with it...unless a professional artist is doing it for me...)

so...bila diaorg bla bla...pakai makeup...lipstick...bla vla vla...baju tak sesuai...bla bla bla...mcm radio plak berbunyi...tak ader effect pung langsung....and wats wrong with being alone....igt dah khawin tuu...boleh bahagia ker? igt kalu dah khawin boleh dpt anak? duhhhh.... niat salah tu....

life is always alone...and i now have my god to love too...trying my best to do what its being writen...and i do believe when i show my love to god....insya allah....my god will know wats d best for me.....


adios...

PHD

taken from http://www.phdcomics.com/

last week, learned a new meaning of PHD....yep..byk sgt drg the meaning or the definition behind the phd...why am i so concern..heheh...sebab i'm going to delve myself into the world of PHD...yep.....ialah...mum suruh jadi doktor...kita tak nak..kecian tgk org senang jer mati di tangan kita....hishishhh..lepas tu nak kene hafal lagi...akak tak kosa nak menghafal...

anyway few of my friends are in a process of completing it....hehehe...anyway back to the story.....a malay drama..gave the PHD as a Penganggur habis duit...hehe..lawak kan tapi meamng betul untuk full time post grade...aialh dpt duit lepas tu belanja....heheheh...tapi penggangur tu tak ader la...they are working to complete their research..sometimes they are occupied with other work also...hahahahaha.....

other definitin of PHD
- Permanent head damage--> stress okie nak buat..ngan menulis lagi...ngan presntation lagi...with the arghh panel n supervisor....
- professor Hot Dog --> name panggilan for us adik beradik by our beloved mum...hahahahah.......sejak kecik lagi...

at the moment...nie jer kita tau....hahahaha...anyway...in a process...ambik gambr..aisi borg and submit..doakan dpt...then..jeng jeng....boss dah bagitau...directly to me....which i can say tat...i will not be long in the department...gosh..leaving my confort zone.....

ciow

Messy messy Office

i have this habbit of feeling comfartable with a messy place....not tat messy...yet boleh dikatakann mcm tongkakng pecah jugak la....with papers lying around...ooo..i have to organise my stuff....ohhh yes..decided to do it ..today.......duss duss...

yet..happy to say, this clean room will not last long....hahahahah....it all reflect back to my messy behavior...hahah

Isolating

arghhh...malas dah nak melepak and being the friendly person of visiting colleagues...maybe the news or gossips can make one person tend to be jealouse..envy..."urghh wah...best yer...hmmm..teruk la....terror la..." and one wonderting how tat person can be a better then us and getting all the luck they can have....where as for me, i try to be the best and better ..yet hearing it makes me sad...useless...nothing compare to them....this is the part where i usually tend to just back off..shuting down my effort and my creative mind put on work....

sometimes, talking bout it makes me sad..wanted to scream my lungs out..its just the ever wanting to be talented turns back to me.making me not talented..unlucky person i am...can i ever become one? oh why do i failed???

currently...i feel happy when i'm alone..running alone...reaching the finishing line alone or with a strangers...rahter then knowing or expecting to be better at the end of compare to the rest....comforatble with family as i rarely talk to them about my works...i do not like to talk about or things how others do..their success..failure...it's just a waste of my mind..time..energy and the results i'll produce...really make me calm by not thinking about it...tak yah bagi advice...

yet..when i need company...cari jer la saper ader....alhamdulillah....that's one out of my chest....just need to let it go....

oh yes...i'm rarely lepaking with the rest or even visiting other people....prayers for me to maintain it....prayers for people not to praise me anymore..it makes me suffers to maintain with their praises.....please stop...let me be the judge of it and let Allah be the judge of my stories..success, failure...oh yes..that's what i want....