arghhh...malas dah nak melepak and being the friendly person of visiting colleagues...maybe the news or gossips can make one person tend to be jealouse..envy..."urghh wah...best yer...hmmm..teruk la....terror la..." and one wonderting how tat person can be a better then us and getting all the luck they can have....where as for me, i try to be the best and better ..yet hearing it makes me sad...useless...nothing compare to them....this is the part where i usually tend to just back off..shuting down my effort and my creative mind put on work....
sometimes, talking bout it makes me sad..wanted to scream my lungs out..its just the ever wanting to be talented turns back to me.making me not talented..unlucky person i am...can i ever become one? oh why do i failed???
currently...i feel happy when i'm alone..running alone...reaching the finishing line alone or with a strangers...rahter then knowing or expecting to be better at the end of compare to the rest....comforatble with family as i rarely talk to them about my works...i do not like to talk about or things how others do..their success..failure...it's just a waste of my mind..time..energy and the results i'll produce...really make me calm by not thinking about it...tak yah bagi advice...
yet..when i need company...cari jer la saper ader....alhamdulillah....that's one out of my chest....just need to let it go....
oh yes...i'm rarely lepaking with the rest or even visiting other people....prayers for me to maintain it....prayers for people not to praise me anymore..it makes me suffers to maintain with their praises.....please stop...let me be the judge of it and let Allah be the judge of my stories..success, failure...oh yes..that's what i want....
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